Special K

"Remind students that confidence is spelled with a K."

Oh man, this just keeps on getting better and better. Kaplan the Komedian.

Speaking of funny, this essay (if you can call it that), which, not surprisingly, received a score of 1 out of 6, totally cracked me up:

I think it is wrong to only think about productivity when you judge. It really unfair and bad, There are lots of ways that a person can give to community even if they are not producing much and I think it is unfair to do that. Its like the monkeys that send the old monkeys out of the pack when they get too old to help get the food. That is totally wrong and mean and we don’t want to be that way. It would be better to be like elephants who take care of the old elephants until they die and then the elephants bury the ones that died.

In conclusion, productivity is no all there is.

"Monkeys are meanie-mos, elephants Kare." Oh god, I can hardly breathe! Whew...wheeeew... I hope to god that none of my students ever write something as bad as this, because I might just laugh in their faces. But then, I'd have to tell them not to worry because confidence is spelled with a K, and I seriously don't know if I'd be able to do that with a straight face.

Here's a good one:

"It is ludacris for one to believe that education is merely the study of names, dates, and other facts."

Simply ludacris. Totally pimpin' all over the world.