Thursday, February 01, 2007

Learning from the best

Whatever happened to those educational cartoons of yore? And now, the Warner Bros (and Warner sister!) present: the U.S. presidents!

Note: the astericks indicate the original lyrics
Note: the prophetic nature of the bolded verse

Yakko: Heigh ho, do you know
The names of the U.S. residents
Who then became the presidents
And got a view from the White House loo
Of Pennsylvania Avenue?

Wakko: George Washington was the first, you see
He once chopped down a cherry tree
Dot : President number two would be
John Adams and then number three

* Yakko: George Washington was the first, you see
* He once chopped down a cherry tree
* Dot : President number two would be
* John Adams and then number three

Yakko: Tom Jefferson stayed up to write
The Declaration late at night
So he and his wife had a great big fight
And she made him sleep on the couch all night

* Yakko: Tom Jefferson stayed up to write
* The Constitution late at night
* So he and his wife had a great big fight
* And she made him sleep on the couch all night

Wakko: James Madison never had a son
And he fought the War of 1812
Dot : James Monroe's colossal nose
Was bigger than Pinocchio's

Yakko: John Quincy Adams was number six
And it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicks
So Jackson learns to play politics
Next time he's the one that the country picks

Dot : Martin Van Buren, number eight
For a one-term shot as Chief of State
Yakko: William Harrison, how do you praise?
That guy was dead in thirty days

Wakko: John Tyler, he liked country folk
Dot : And after him came President Polk
Yakko: Zachary Taylor liked to smoke
His breath killed friends whenever he spoke

Wakko: Eighteen fifty, really nifty
Millard Fillmore's in
Yakko: Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce
The man without a chin

Dot : Follows next a period spannin'
Four long years with James Buchanan
Then the South starts shootin' cannon
And we've got a civil war
YW+D : A war, a war down south in Dixie

Yakko: Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln
Dot : There's a guy who's really thinkin'
Wakko: Kept the United States from shrinkin'
Saved the ship of state from sinkin'

Dot : Andrew Johnson's next
He had some slight defects
Wakko: Congress each
Would impeach
Dot : And so the country now elects

Yakko: Ulysses Simpson Grant
Who would scream and rave and rant
Wakko: While drinking whiskey
Although risky
'Cause he'd spill it on his pants

Yakko: It's eighteen seventy-seven
And the Democrats would gloat
But they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes
Wins by just one vote

Dot : James Garfield, someone really hated
'Cause he was assassinated
Wakko: Chester Arthur gets instated
Four years later, he was traded

Dot : For Grover Cleveland, really fat
Elected twice as a Democrat
Then Benjamin Harrison; after that
It's William McKinley up to bat

Yakko: Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill
Wakko: And President Taft, he got the bill
Yakko: In 1913 Woodrow
YW+D : Wil...
...son takes us into World War One

Yakko: Warren Harding next in line
Dot : It's Calvin Coolidge; he does fine
Wakko: And then in nineteen twenty-nine
The market crashes, and we find

* Yakko: Warren Harding, he does fine
* Dot : It's Calvin Coolidge next in line
* Wakko: And then in nineteen twenty-nine
* The market crashes, and we find

Yakko: It's Herbert Hoover's big debut
He gets the blame and loses to
Dot : Franklin Roosevelt, president who
Helped us win in World War Two

Wakko: Harry Truman, weird little human
Serves two terms and when he's done
Yakko: It's Eisenhower who's got the power
From fifty-three to sixty-one

Dot : John Kennedy had Camelot
Then Lyndon Johnson took his spot
Yakko: Richard Nixon, he gets caught
And Gerald Ford fell down a lot

* Dot : John F. Kennedy, he gets shot
* So Lyndon Johnson takes his spot
* Yakko: Richard Nixon, he gets caught
* And Gerald Ford fell down a lot

Wakko: Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips
Yakko: And Ronald Reagan's speeches' scripts
All came from famous movie clips
And President Bush said "read my lips"

Dot : Now in Washington D.C.
Wakko: There's Democrats and the G.O.P.
Yakko: But the ones in charge are plain to see
Dot : The Clintons, Bill and Hillary

* Dot : Now in Washington D.C.
* Wakko: There's Democrats and the G.O.P.
* Yakko: But the one in charge is plain to see
* Dot : It's Clinton, first name Hillary

Yakko: The next President to lead the way
Well, it just might be yourself one day
Then the press'll distort everything you say
YW+D : So jump in your plane and fly away

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