Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tales from the Arabian Nights, Part 1: Venturing Out of the Bomb Shelter
Un-posted Entries
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Where did Moses Go?
There doesn't seem to be a well-formed concept of afterlife in the Jewish religion . How strange! I always assumed that a well-defined Heaven was one of the things that the three major monotheistic religions- and many others besides- had in common.
Balls a-Flying
Nearly four years later, this past June, the night before the first group of us teachers left Iraq for good, Tom put his juggling balls in my care. Oh the irony. What possessed me to keep them remains mysterious...perhaps something akin to nostalgia...but I kept them.
Then one day, about a month ago, I picked them up from their dust-gathering place in the bricked corner of my Freak Tent room in Philly, and I started juggling again. First one ball, then two, then I tried my hand at three.
I was as atrocious as ever, but this time I was a more perceptive learner. I learned how to throw, how not to throw, and most importantly, I paced myself. When I made it to 3 tosses in a row, then to 5, I congratulated myself and set a new goal of 6. A couple weeks passed in this fashion, my record number of tosses in a row never exceeding 8.
Then, sometime last week I hit the double digits- a record 12 tosses in a row! A couple days ago, when I hit a major stride and made it all the way to my age (25), I nearly choked my roomie Melissa with my exuberant hugging.
Today, I reached another important landmark, 42. I juggled the answer to the universal question! (The question itself remains mysterious.) I nearly crushed Sarah with my exuberant pummeling. Juggling turns me violent, it would seem.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Return of Orion
Friday, October 09, 2009
Poe, Edgar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Sound of Language
I like how language turns into music when you don't understand it. That's how I found out my French was deteriorating, in fact. One day, I sat on the steps of Union Square in San Francisco listening to a French couple nearby chatting intimately in the language of windchimes and bells rather than defined words.
...all the more melodious and rhythmic for their meaninglessness.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Jersey Woods
Friday, September 04, 2009
Lyrical Moment in 21 Grams
The Earth Turned to Bring Us Closer
by Eugenio Montejo
translated by Peter Boyle
The earth turned to bring us closer,
it spun on itself and within us,
and finally joined us together in this dream
as written in the Symposium.
Nights passed by, snowfalls and solstices;
time passed in minutes and millennia.
An ox cart that was on its way to Nineveh
arrived in Nebraska.
A rooster was singing some distance from the world,
in one of the thousand pre-lives of our fathers.
The earth was spinning with its music
carrying us on board;
it didn't stop turning a single moment
as if so much love, so much that's miraculous
was only an adagio written long ago
in the Symposium's score.
Camping in Jersey tomorrow! Tents, peanut butter & jelly, beer, and no showers for 2 days- oh, and there may, or may not, be an accordion involved. Life can only get so much better! This too was written in the Symposium's score.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Bethany Beach
Angled bridge
Lit like a spotlight onstage
by fluourescent white lights swarming with flies.
On either side, wild grasses grew
from white sands.
Lit unnaturally
by white fluourescent lamps
I tread the angled bridge in flat silver shoes,
stopped.
& lost my breath, my eyes grew wide.
Never have I seen
such blackness staring me down.
It stretched across the dimensions
ready to swallow me whole
into its deep, dark, infinite abyss
Empty space,
neglected by the Creator of things
I tread the length of the angled bridge
approaching the abyss.
Kicked off the silver shoes
and walked straight into the abyss.
I was not afraid. I knew the nothingness
was only an illusion.
Things were there, should light be cast on them.
Just now, the light was fast asleep.
As all should be,
but not were we.
Bare feet
Soft sands beneath the toes,
Grains between the toes
We paused at the edge of the dry sands
& the beginning of the wet sands
From here, the abyss
was no longer empty.
We heard the woosh and crash of
the surf against the shore
It thrilled me! Electrified me!
Leaving the others behind, my bare feet took off running down the wet sands
Hands flurried to strip off the remaining flowing garments
Tumbled playfully in the sands along the way
and dove into the abyss
Cold, black Atlantic!
Pale bodies floating in a sea of tar
Above us another sea of tar
speckled with stars,
no moon
only Venus and Mars
I try to surf with the tide incoming
Massive, mammoth monster rising
But black force pounds my face and engulfs all my senses drowning
My sight is struck with stars
Thunder crashes around my ears
I lose all sense of when or where
As ruthless waves toss me hither and there
My clothes are ripped askew
All I can do is gasp and sputter
and crawl on my knees,
dragging my self, beaten and stripped, to the kinder shore.
Woah, rush! Again and again, over and under,
I battle with the tides over and over
What a rush, What a rush, the need to suffer...and fight and conquer
Back to shore I drag my self
through the heavy molasses I drag my self
Bare feet back on solid sand
and light and slender air
I become a spectator as others battle
their own tempestuous waves
On this planet, I see
no colors but black and white
Black sea, white crests
Black sky, white sands
Pale luminous torsos glow
like stars fallen into the jet-black flow
Crests race in from sea to shore like
white stallions in battle form
Two front lines charge toward the shore
Diagonal lines close in and roar
Clash and explode.
Another races from side to side
I watch, hypnotized.
I think we are standing at the edge
of a strange planet
One jump will take us into deep space
off this strange planet
But I know this place, this lonely planet
And feel no desire to abandon it
Why would I want to leave?
Why would I want anything better?
We are here, and we don't know it
We are home, and we don't know it
Know it, know it, seek it, love it!
And then abandon it.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Mind vs. Eye
And two, it occurred to me suddenly that water is not supposed to be clean. In imagination, I always picture natural bodies of water to be blue and clear, but in real life, I am always unpleasantly surprised by how green or brown and unclear they are. The Schuylkill in Philly is always bashed for its mysteriously murky, hazardous-looking water, supposedly full of dead bodies; and the waters of Greenlake in Seattle reflect its name due to the excessive growth of algae and milfoil underneath its calm surface; and the Nile and Tigris, both acclaimed rivers in ancient times, but when you actually see them, you can't help but cringe at the thought of stepping foot into their murky depths. But maybe that's how natural bodies of water should be and the fault is really with my idealization of rivers and lakes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Mystery Phone Call
The other day, I was woken up by a phone call way too early in the morning. The number on the phone began with 964 and looked ridiculously long. I opened the phone anyway.
“Hello?”
“Hello?” replied a little girl's voice.
Who the hell was this? My girlfriends tend to be in their twenties or older, not ten.
“Hello? (*Major static*) Miss Angie?
Oh my, it's been a while since I've heard that name!
“Miss Angie, this is Abdulrahman.”
It wasn't a little girl! It was one of my kindergarden boys calling me from Iraq! And his English was rockin'. Go Abo!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Good Timing
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Final Citadel Survey: Muddy Waters
I shut the cab door and turned around. Facing the inside of the bazaar, suddenly, I felt like exploring, not shopping. Good thing there was an ancient citadel right across the street! I made a detour from bazaar to citadel, bought a couple of those shepherd bags from the tapestry shop underneath, and headed through the archway and up the stairs for what would be the last time, though at the time, I was thinking I'd be coming here at least a couple more times before leaving. As usual, there were a couple lone men perched on the edge of the flat top overlooking the city, watching the hubbub of the bazaar traffic below. The sky that day was a uniform, hazy white, so heavy with dust that the buildings along the horizon appeared smoky and gray.
I entered through an opening on the side this time. Fortress walls enclosed the path on either side and reached up to the sky. Treading this path, I came upon an old mud-brick wall in a permanent state of crumbling. Staring up at it, I realized it was not just a single wall, but layers upon layers of it. Underneath the crumbling parts, older layers of wall could be seen, as well as old doors and windows that had been built then blocked up later on. Some patches of brick were smoother than others. Some patches looked like old man's teeth, all crooked and leaving gaps and halfway pulled out. Bricks grew out in clumps from flatter surfaces like the mossy growth on ancient tree trunks. I couldn't believe it was still standing because it looked like a Jenga game that's been going on much too long.
I meandered like one of the citadel cats through some alleys with my camera, until I saw one of the guards walking toward me. I nodded agreeably as he gave me the usual friendly warning to not stray from the main road, and dutifully followed him back. About a dozen or so members of the pershmerga lounged around the circular podium there in their army pants, but as soon as they saw me approaching, their leader barked at them to get into formation and they started doing these hilariously lame, outdated exercises. I managed to get a picture of them while they were still lounging around.
Looking up from the picture, I noticed an ever-so slight brownish tint of the sky that had not been there earlier. Dust was gathering. It hit me then just how brown everything in here was today. The mud-brick buildings, the dirt ground, and now even the sky was reflecting an off-white tint.
I made my way up the main road toward the other archway in the back of the citadel, pausing to take photos of an adorable Creamsicle-colored cat lurking at the top of a railed staircase behind some old bricks and leaves. Seriously, it is the cats that rule this place now. Akkadians, Babylonians, Persians and Greeks have come and gone, and now only the felines remain.
By the time I passed under the back archway, the dust had thickened so much the sky seemed to be dropping down on the city, the smoky film along the horizon having spread forward to turn the clear outlines of distant buildings into indiscernible shadows shrouded in mist.
I climbed up some old crumbling staircase along the right side of the citadel walls, over loose boards, stones, and mounds of dirt. There was supposed to be an amazing view of the city during sunset from a window up here somewhere. But even as I began climbing, I could see a guard out of the corner of my eye making his way toward me. Argh, since when have they become so annoyingly thoughtful of the tourists' safety? I sat down on a cement block and pulled out my camera, indicating to the guard that I was just going to sit here taking pictures. He seemed to be fine with that, though he lingered to keep watch. I'll come back another day and try to get up there, I thought. Of course that day never came.
Perched on the cement block and leaning against the old mud-brick wall, I watched as this one came to an end, the sun sinking slowly down from its lofty roost. Its gold light cast a yellowish hue over the westerly sky, diffused by the intense dust clogging the atmosphere that day. The entire sky seemed to glow with a soft, nebulous light. Strong gusts of wind blew that infernal dust my way. I shielded my eyes with my hands, and futilely tried to brush my bangs away against the direction of the wind. The winds were shifting, the air hung heavy. Gee, the day sure felt ominous. I toyed with my camera for awhile until suddenly, a fat raindrop splattered on it, and I looked up to see that the world had been drenched in coffee.
Or so it seemed. Brown, brown, everywhere brown! Muddy brown skies hovered over a muddy brown city with brown buildings and white buildings that looked yellowish-brown under the strange glowing light from above. I was impressed, but also, I had to get out of the rain that was about to be unleashed.
I ran down and took shelter underneath the arch next to a young girl about 12 years of age, but already as tall as me. Possibly, I have not grown since I was twelve. We huddled against the bricks and watched the muddy rain drumming down, heavy as pebbles.
Soon, though, the wind was sweeping the downpour sideways, so we were getting wet anyway. A soldier motioned for us to get inside the old security station. Grateful for the tiny, but dry shelter, we sat down on the old stone bench and sighed with relief- but I yelped and leapt up a second later because water was dripping down from the ceiling onto the bench where I sat. So we stood side-by-side, waiting for the storm to pass.
The girl's name was Raman, and she was visiting from Denmark with her grandfather. Raman dreamed of living in Kurdistan forever. The houses here were big and beautiful, she said, and nowhere else has she ever seen such beautiful things. I liked how she could say these things about her homeland even in the midst of a giant, disgusting mudstorm. A shattered window directly in front of me framed an old man standing under the eaves of a house across the dirt path, one hand resting on a large, yellow garbage bin, the other wiping the rain off his balding head. The old man was her grandfather, a school headmaster. The rain slashed down like needles past this viewing frame.
We watched the river of coffee flow and splatter past the doorless entrance. It reminded me of a time more than a dozen years ago, when I stood under the protective eaves of a storefront somewhere along the route to my aunt's house in Korea, watching a muddy river rushing madly by through the cobblestone street. Now that was a rainstorm. I had been exactly Raman's age, but unlike her, I remember being scared stiff by the torrential flood that looked like it could easily sweep me away if I tried to step into it to get home. All I wanted, though, was to get home, so I braved the torrents and blindly made my way back to my aunt's house eventually. I remember my lovely aunt yelled at me for not taking an umbrella. Hmph. As if an umbrella could have held back a rushing river. She must have been mistaking me for Moses.

This time, I waited. Quite suddenly, the downpour slowed to a trickle, then stopped completely. We stepped out of our tiny cement shelter, amazed at the transformation. Having dumped all its dirt onto the city below, which remained a murky, muddy brown, the sky looked positively cheery: light and clear and fluffy with clouds. Had it been a cartoon, it would have started whistling a tune. Had it been a deer, it would have started frolicking after a butterfly. How beguiling. Raman and I joined her grandfather and the few other tourists heading down the hill and out the citadel. Her grandfather invited me to their home, so I waited with them in the flooded streets for a cab, taking care to step upon the more solid islands of mud. The sun had sunk low and was glowing a pale orange, visible just over an old brick wall across the street. I followed them into the cab for an evening of ice cream and babies at Raman's aunt's house.
“If I had all the money and time in the world...” We ended up playing this game somehow. Raman said she would live in Kurdistan and help other people. Wait till she finds out just how many ways there are of doing that. How would she choose? Her younger sister would be a princess. Would that be a full-time occupation? I guess in this day and age, depending on which realm you're in charge of, being a princess might entail getting involved in politics on top of wearing the tiara and pretty dresses. In the old days in Kurdistan, a princess was also a warrior (Remember Princess Khanzad, the 12th century Kurdish warrior princess? The Yezedis, before the Islamic conquest, did not care much for distinct gender roles.). Her older cousin was studying to become a civil engineer, which sounds a lot less glamorous than Occupation: Princess, but in a developing region like Kurdistan, would be a hundred times more useful.
In the corner of the room, swaddled in blankets, the littlest sister, still just a baby, cried out in her sleep. I wondered what dreams had startled her from her tranquil slumber.

